Learnings is where I attempt to make sense of what I am doing, seeing, practicing throughout the month (among other verbs). It’s a place for all the ways I’m learning even when I don’t call it that.
You’re my professor. My assignment is 4 days late. I write to you with a long story about how it was my birthday weekend, my sister was visiting, I promise it won’t happen again. Do you give me full credit? Take half the points off? If you’re reading this I’m hoping you accept my story and forgive my tardiness.
Those are exactly the kinds of questions I’m facing once again because it is back to school season baby! And so far the kids are (mostly) alright.
But before I get into any of that, I lived a whole month before school started and I pursued a few fun side quests I want to share.
Wrote a 10-minute play for a 48-hour playfest organized by
. It was performed for a real crowd by the talented folks at Sandbox Theatre.So fun. SO challenging. So much respect for playwrights. Shoutout to
for doing this with me and keeping me from quitting!
Drove to Mexico and spent the weekend doing nothing but swimming, eating, and reading. It was bliss.
Hosted a book swap with Sonoran Sapphics and launched our book club. We’re reading Women by Chloe Caldwell.
We all lived inside the saying “once in a blue moon.” Which feels profound in a way I don’t quite know how to articulate. Maybe its just the magic of language mirroring nature.
NOTICING
As the summer winds down and I’m back in the swing of having a full-time job, I’m noticing how important little sweetnesses are to my well-being.
little sweetness, noun
any small action or effort that makes daily life a little softer, sweeter, or more fun
Here’s my current rotation:
Making the effort to set a vibe around a meal.
Putting on the “Feel Good Dinner” playlist and lighting a candle.
Driving up the mountain for a lovingly packed picnic.
Daily dancing
Pick a song and dance — alone or with a lover. I prefer this at the end of the day but have done it in the morning.
Perfect temperature tea
Warming up tea that has gone cold, putting an ice cube in tea that’s too hot
Clothes putting away party (C.P.A.P. - abbreviations are another little sweetness)
Set a timer for 5 minutes, add music, put clean clothes away as fast as possible
So interesting to see the pattern around music in this list. I guess sometimes sweetness is just a playlist.
No matter what it looks like, I think we all deserve our own attention and care. I want to keep asking myself: How can I be more comfortable in any given moment? How can I add more whimsy or playfulness? Where’s the joy and am I looking for it?
LISTENING
I listened to this podcast at the beginning of the month and proceeded to send it to everyone I know. I love adrienne maree brown’s body of work and I think Krista Tippett asks smart questions. I especially loved the part where they discuss how Terry Marshall said that we are in an imagination battle.
In response, adrienne says “we live in this abundant world, and we’ve been told it’s scarce. And because of that scarcity, we have to fight each other constantly… If we imagine that we’re supposed to be divided and we imagine these constructs to live inside we can get very committed to those constructs. And then our imaginations can get very limited, because it’s like, what can I dream?”
What can I dream? What can I imagine alongside others? I’m convinced this is one of the most powerful questions we have as humans.
WONDERING
Speaking of scarcity, something that feels like it shouldn’t be news but is: I don’t immediately have to compare myself to someone who inspires me. *insert mind blown emoji* It is in fact not a competition. I feel like I have to learn this again and again. What if there’s an unfathomable number of creative humans? What if what I’m always saying is true? Everyone has their own brilliance. What if I’m getting better at spotting it?
READING
While I don’t feel equipped to give normal reviews of books, I will tell you what each of these books felt like to me.
In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado
I inhaled this book in two days and then my partner did the same over the next two days. Reading it felt like taking an upper division English class in an old house in Indiana where the teacher is a traumatic life event and the only homework is to listen. (For context I adored English class so this is complementary.)
Assembly by Natasha Brown
This tiny little book packs a punch and I’m still thinking about the way the narrative was woven together. It felt like watching good experimental British television on 2x speed. Actually, I just started watching Industry on HBO Max (still not sure I like it but I’ve watched a whole season) and the vibes are cousins. Assembly is the cousin who becomes a lifeline at the family gathering.
Are these even making sense? I’m not sure. We’re deep in the land of metaphors.
Real Americans by Rachel Khong
This book is beautiful and there were multiple moments I wanted to hurl it across my room. Khong discusses so many themes and topics within one narrative, it is astounding. Reading this felt like sitting in a living room with three generations of the same family. Tea is sipped as they realized in real time that their life experiences are wildly different and inextricably linked. Some moments feel awkward and frustrating because humans are awkward and frustrating, but mostly I felt honored to witness it.
PRACTICING
I heard somewhere (probably Tiktok) that for the ADHD brain “there is no later.” So now I’m telling myself that every time I want to put off a task. Strangely it also works as a mantra for staying in the moment. There is no later. It doesn’t exist! Only now.
And now is September. Happy Virgo season to all who celebrate. Go put on your favorite song from Short n’ Sweet and do the thing that needs doing.
OFFERING (!)
I spent August remembering how much I love holding space for people to share their brilliance. While I’ve spent the last year focusing on building an IRL organization and pouring into my own creative practice as a writer, I am also a coach for artists and creative humans. I support people in getting clear on their next steps, quieting the mind demons, and moving into systemized action.
In September, I’m opening up a very limited schedule to work together 1:1. More details to come on Instagram @carly.here. If you read this, and know you want support, please reach out and I’ll give you priority before I share publicly.
Before you go, I want to know how you’re sweet to yourself…share in the comments?
Until next time, let’s keep learning together.
some of my fav little sweetnesses: walks around the bougie neighborhood making up little stories for the fabulous houses, mood lighting for a bath, (baths generally!), setting out my ann richards mug if i know i have a long day at work ahead for the next morning - it makes me smile and if she can smile through texas government so can i!
Sometimes sweetness is just a playlist!!!!!! So so so true!