Learnings, May
joy, grief, and noticing it all
Learnings is where I attempt to make sense of what I am doing, seeing, practicing throughout the month (among other verbs). It’s a place for all the ways I’m learning even when I don’t call it that.
The start of summer brings promises of a slowing down and so much time. The return of my summer self. I’m a teacher so there’s a wide-open schedule aspect of this. She swims laps, reads cool girl books in cute cafes, eats her body weight in fresh fruit. Basically, she’s me with extra big hopes, a list of summer projects, and a tan.
I was recently talking with a friend (and brilliant writer) Callan O’Neill about mourning the month of May. In May the whole expanse of the summer stretches out and whispers “you can do anything.” June has it own appeal but I find it exists in closer pace and proximity to July and August. The yawning loveliness of Taurus season as the world blooms is something I need to remember to look forward to.
And while May had such sweet moments of remembering it also housed a lot of mourning. A lot of letting it be both. Right now when people ask me how I am it is hard to know what to answer. Life is full of plans and dreams coming to fruition, of carefully tended community. Of joy. At the same time, all I can seem to see is the hurt of Palestinian people. Of people experiencing genocide and war across the world. Of my neighbors without homes around the corner. And I don’t have the words or the answers except to say that the more I practice letting the grief and the joy be roommates, the more my ability to stay engaged expands.
“There’s so much to worry about, but there might be even more to notice.”
- Rachel Schwartzmann, Slow Stories
NOTICING
Maybe you’ve noticed that I always start my learnings with a “noticing” section. My ability to notice is directly correlated with my ability to create. If it isn’t too dramatic, maybe even my ability to exist. Noticing is perhaps (I reserve the right to change my mind!) my favorite thing about being a human. Especially when the thing I’m noticing is another human. Or nature. Here’s a quick list of things I noticed on one walk one day in May:
A tiny ant carrying a small white fleck moving against asphalt
A bee balancing on the edge of a yellow flower at the end of a branch
Red-chested birds doing bird frolicking things — specifically having totally different tones in their chirps
That was on a ten-minute walk around my block after too much computer work. The invitation here of course is to notice more!
READING
Okay, decidedly not a book influencer. (Go follow Nic Marna for that.) However, I do love to read and pulled the books that rearranged my brain this month. Warning: they are all pretty heavy.
Gay Girl Prayers by Emily Austin
As a recovering Catholic, this collection made me feel so very seen. A reclamation in the truest sense. If Bible verses have ever been quoted at you by way of disagreeing with your behavior, identity, or choices… you need these poems.
Evil Eye by Etaf Rum
May’s book club pick, written by a Palestinian-American author that outlines a woman’s self-actualization through revisiting her history and untangling the hurt of her past and present. Hearing the story of Nakba told from the perspective of the grandmother in the book was poignant and the transformation of the main character is powerful.
Chain Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah
A masterpiece, no hyperbole. It feels like this book will always be rattling around in my being from now on. The way footnotes are used in this book is inspired. The way relationships are rendered is stunning. I could keep going but I think you should just read this book. Or if you have, reach out to me to talk about it!
REFLECTING
Summer weddings anyone? In May, my sister got married and it was an absolute dream of a weekend. And, big events have a tendency to bring things to the surface. After observing how insecurities (including my own) were bopping around between all of us like an extreme game of pinball, I’ve been reflecting on the topic. I found this question and wanted to pass it along:
How are your insecurities influencing the way you’re viewing the situation?
Oof. It gave me that gut-droppy gulp of a feeling (in a good way) when I read it. Take it if it resonates, leave it if not!
HYDRATING
It’s liquids season! Hydrated girl summer! I live in the Sonoran Desert and we kind of invented dry heat (iykyk). So, my usual three beverages at one time has increased to four or five. Here’s what I’m drinking lately:
Water with a pinch of Redmond Real Salt. Have a headache because you were going around the internet for 3 hours and haven’t taken a single sip of water? This is the cure. (Not medical advice!!)
“Hydration Margarita” I truly have no idea if I made this up or saw it on the internet and made it my own. But, it is delicious and I highly suggest putting this into your rotash. Pinch of salt, pinch of sugar, juice of a lemon, juice of a lime, add water and ice, stir. Also maybe sparkling water? Yum. Haters may say this is a homemade electrolyte packet. Scientifically they may be correct. But this is no l*q*id IV my friends. Just try it.
Lemon Spindrift (this is the sparkling water I would add to the above but also it is superior alone)
Coconut water in a can WITH pulp as a little treat.
Herbal tea infusions in a French press (innovation) that I then put into the fridge to chill down. Lately it has been allergy tea from the Tucson Herb Store.
Okay wow, so that was five variations on essentially water. I’m also loving flavored matcha (lavendar & strawberry to be specific!) and brothy beans as a quick girl dinner that is also hydrating.
Tell me, what are you drinking this summer? Beverage cuties unite.
That’s all for now. Happy Pride! I love you!
Wowowowowow I’m thirsty!!!!
Hydration margarita sounds divine, I will be attempting!