Learnings, October

seasonal shift, binaries, a great playlist

Learnings is where I attempt to make sense of what I am doing, seeing, practicing throughout the month (among other verbs). It’s a place for all the ways I’m learning even when I don’t call it that.

October feels like the homecoming queen of all the months — such a Libra metaphor. She’s waving, smiling, and is actually the kindest person you know so she totally deserves this. This kind of unravels (or just becomes the scene from Carrie) once Scorpio season hits. She’s complex, Miss October contains multitudes.

While what seems like the rest of the country has been fall-ing since early September, the season only just arrived in Arizona. Every year, my relationship with the seasons feels deeper and brand new at the same time. Something I wrote last year that still resonates: we are nature and it’s in our nature to shift as the seasons do. Remembering this reconnects us to the planet and our creativity.

SHIFTING

A few seasonal supports for the shift to darker months:

• Warm drinks. (See my newly organized tea drawer below!) My favorite first drink is lemon, hot water, plus turmeric and ginger powder if I’m feeling fancy. I also finally tried that buzzy internet mushroom drink and I’m into it, mostly for the hug that is cacao.

• Phone and/or computer in dark mode

• Morning candles! A cold morning luxury. When I started doing this it felt in someway illicit? Who says candles are only for the evening?

• Two words: Soup. Season. If you have a favorite soup recipe and haven’t told me about it, I’m mad at you. Message me immediately, please. Here’s one of mine.

• Friends with fire pits/fireplaces. It’s the fall equivalent of friends with pools.

• Lizarding. Sun is out? So are you! I take tons of little sun breaks in the fall and winter and call them lizarding. My friend Madeline taught me the word apricity recently and now I’m seeing it everywhere. Whatever you call it, get some sun on skin.

• Anything Britta says!

postcards from October

NOTICING

Ever heard the cheeky little phrase “time is a construct.” Well, I am noticing just how true that is after a very slow October. I think the reason is related to “The Novelty Rule” — a cute way to brand some powerful neuroscience about the way the brain interacts with time and memory. In basic terms, to slow down time, seek novelty. This month I traveled to Austin for Austin City Limits and did the HOT TO GO! dance with 100k+ people, got inducted to my high school’s sports hall of fame with my sister (go Lancers!), hosted a witchy event for Sonoran Sapphics, and did not have much of routine. So many new memories and experiences made thirty-one days feel more like three full months. In November, I’m aiming for novelty in smaller ways, starting with shifting my routines to align with the seasons.

QUESTIONING

Binary (either/or) thinking is pervasive. It’s an effective tool to keep us occupied sorting our decisions, identities, lives into boxes; leaving no room for nuance or new ideas. In some wellness spaces, this shows up as “masculine energy or feminine energy.” With my university students, it can be as seemingly harmless as identifying as an artist or not. In an argument, often we are looking for someone to be right. (It’s me, I’m right!) Absolutism is enticing. Certainty can feel comforting in a world that’s constantly changing.

Until, a moment of reflection leads to the realization that multiple things are true at one time. More often than not when we start to dig into any given binary way of sorting, it reaches a point of no longer being helpful. Maybe even become harmful. While this applies to almost every aspect of identity, it also can apply to things like worthiness or self-love. As a reminder to challenge binary thinking, a friend has a phrase I say often tattooed on her body: it can be both. It can also be neither, or somewhere in the middle, or some secret third thing you’re inventing by even asking the question.

Some false binaries to call into question just for fun:

• body or mind

• all in or not invested

• introvert or extrovert

• rational or emotional

The text below is from a creative coaching client after I mentioned this on one of our calls. If you’re looking for support that doesn’t shy away from big convos, I’m your gal.

warning: once you question one binary, they all might come tumbling down

LISTENING

“Smiling through it all, yeah that’s my life!” I’m trying to choose just one line from That’s So True and I like them all. “But I think I like her, she's so fun. Wait I think I hate her, I’m not that evolved.” Come on! We’ve all been there. I love Gracie and her undeniably good bob.

Also, in August I said that playlists are a little sweetness. Nearly the next day

catie

sent me a playlist that she’s been adding to since then. *Major swoon* Now, I’m sharing so you can cherish the companionship of these hand-selected songs. It’s so warm and perfect for doing computer work, cleaning the house, or swaying back and forth while you walk yourself around the block.

That’s all for now, cuties. Happy November! Happy new moon in Scorpio! Set your intentions and of course, make a plan for how to stay engaged after voting.

Until next time, it’s all learning.